December 2009
Wow kids. Mature, ya’ll. You know what? Maybe she was doing it for attention. Even if that’s true, who cares? It was a cry for help and goddamn that doesn’t make suicide jokes or any of this shit I’m seeing okay.
And since you’re all acting like children, that’s what I’ll call you…there’s still that possibility that she wasn’t out for...
FOLLOWERS
So, my account I use for reblogs and shit thats not writing is ignorethisshit. So if you see a reply from that account and you’re like “heywut?”, that’s why.
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beauty
i know you’re not awake
but god is the moon beautiful
and it reminded me of you
and that will never be a line because I don’t need them
and that will never be a line because who would think to kid?
i need you like i need a highway to wish on, and you need me like you need
a way out of here
and when i say that you are beautiful it is not because i think you’re
feminine
or...
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eggshells
in the cold morning blue my mother makes pancakes and i pad-thump into the kitchen to pretend like i still have appetite.
all i can remember now is when we would stumble out laughing, ramen for breakfast at two in the afternoon.
i eat alone, now.
…
my parents never understood how i could make you leave like that. my brother smacked me across the face.
“she was the best thing that...
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cold blue
and when she stopped coming around anymore they all just shook their heads and told me
“you are a fool”
there is an emptiness here, now.
i loved her. but my hands couldn’t listen. and knives can’t speak.
I think I’m going to hell.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse; A young girl on Tumblr, clicking, was there, Reblogging and posting love quotes with care; If you listened real close, you could hear all her likes, Looking at pictures of hipsters on bikes
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silence
he didn’t understand why she was leaving. packing her things, finding her CDs and belongings and maybe a toaster in this too-small apartment they shared.
as she was flinging books into boxes, he asked “why?”
she stayed silent
as she was soundlessly sobbing, folding her bedclothes, he asked “why?”
she spoke no words
“why?” “why?”...
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give all take all
and he hates to let anyone have a piece of himself.
photographs. nicknames. ownership.
“stake your claim”
he hesitates to make you his, because that makes him yours.
and he can’t give himself away like that. not again.
because she took it all. who he was. who he is. his core.
she took it all…
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joe, mary, and thomas
joe and mary, a small-town, catholic-school, gravel-road family, had a young son, thomas.
and on a cloudy-cold tuesday morning, they found him, tendons hanging, skull glistening with fresh blood, arms where legs should be, legs chewed off by dogs and birds. mutilated, his baby pacifier stuck in what was left of his bleeding gums and broken baby teeth.
joe sinks to the ground, face hitting dirt,...
smoke and mirrors
Alex: Actually I am a jackass. At heart
Alix: Everyone is, really. Just depends how much you show it. No one really gives a fuck who you really are. They just care about how you act and what they see. And thank god for that.
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jamais vu
let me break your heart
tear you in two
let me haunt your dreams
memories like claws, digging into you
never forget me
always regret me
i want to feel you sad
never forget me
and i’ll say that like a curse
i’m cruel in the ways you can’t see
hurt for everything you had
hurt for how good you thought it was
hurt
i want you to hurt
crush your dreams
crush your skull
...
“no one WANTS this. no one even really wants love, not really, they want to be wanted and needed and kissed. but they don’t want vulnerability and hurt and that’s what love is. love doesn’t make sense. biologically, emotionally, not at all. it hinders our survival rate! but fuck that, we love anyway because it’s AMAZING while it lasts. until it ends and you’re...
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formspring.me
I think that you are a really amazing person and have some of the best writing I’ve seen in awhile. I feel like I can relate to a lot of it, and it’s so well written. You just seem like an all around good person, don’t lose that.
Making me blush!
Thank you, it really means a lot when people say things like this :]
Ask me anything
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formspring.me
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/hellodahly
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flinching fast
hot tears sliding against her cheek, she doesn’t know why she’s unhappy
pent-up fed-up
she’s next to him but she’s so far away and he doesn’t notice the salty sadness running down her face, pressing into his skin
and she is curled up, alone in bedsheets next to him and he doesn’t even realize that she’s growing cold from him and for a second he pulls...
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formspring.me
Whenever you like something of mine it makes me smile. Thanks for making me more confident in what I post.
<3
You’re very welcome <3
Ask me anything
Question
Would anyone here care if I just used this blog as my reblogging/personal one as well as my writing one? I am totally fine if people wouldn’t like that, I am just wondering.
So reblog, or answer?
okay so I doubt anyone will ask me or anything or... →
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wide eyed
and she is so afraid. because he gets so angry and ohgod what if he smacks her and why does he seem to want her more when she’s looking so wide-eyed afraid of him and why does he one moment spout cruel words “you’re worthless” and the next cry that he needs her? and why does she have the feeling that she is getting in too deep and someday she won’t be able to get out...
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understand
and he doesn’t understand why he gets so angry when he hears how her boyfriend treats her and he doesn’t understand why she stays and stays and stays with him when he lies and cheats and gets angry and then he hits hard across her face and oh god she’s bleeding and he sees the scars but he still keeps going and he doesn’t understand why whenever he sees her boyfriend he...
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wanted
and god, she is so sexy.
and god, he never says anything else
and he doesn’t even mean it
he just knows she is low enough to give him what he wants
just to be wanted
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confusion
And he’s been through a girl who he lost because she loves herself too much.
And he’s about through with a girl who he’ll lose because she hates herself too much.
And he is so confused.
well
I have been getting quite a few reblogs (and by quite a few, I obviously mean five. And on a related note, thanks for boosting my Tumblarity) asking me who I am. And though I do have a seperate blog (ignorethisshit), I realize that most people are following me for reasons other than stupid things I reblog.
So I’ll tell you here.
I am Alix. I am younger than your mother, but older than...
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breaking
and she’s stopped talking. beause they don’t want to hear it.
and well, she was right, everyone loves her so much more this way.
but broken and naked on that bed, tears fighting to crawl out her eyes, she is a car crash.
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someday
sometimes you just do things beause you have to and they feel right even though they make no sense and make no money but at least you are doing what they say in those books and following your heart
because maybe what life is really supposed to be about is loving each other and following that strange thing thumping away a life in your chest and ignoring all those things inside that tell you...
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inexplicable
and she cries at least once a day not because she is
sad
but because the world is so beautiful
and life is so short
and maybe if she had done something different.
or waited.
or told them she loved them more
(or less)
or at least tried to love past ‘i want you”s
and a naive notion of what “care” is
maybe if yshe had gone after something better things would be...
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scared
he holds her close to him
she is so small
she is so fragile
like she’s going to shatter
a porcelein doll
worth more than she was sold for
more than she settles for
he needs to protext her
needs to
she can’t go
she can’t
he can’t live without her
and, with those words, he loves her too much, and she breaks from
the
fear
of
hurting
him
and because she always...
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faded
you breathe her, now.
every step you take, you breathe her in and let her go.
you breathe her and even though you used to love the way she smells (fresh laundry
fresh rain
old books),
you hate that,
now,
no matter where you go, it feels like she’s right around the corner
waiting for you to fall into her so she can say “i’ve always been here
right
around
the
...
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hunger
when he holds her, she feels that hunger go away
that aching, clawing feelings that makes her want someone who will hold her as tight as they can
“i love you so much, i’ll crush your bones”
and never let go.
she feels that crunch in her gut fade until she remembers to wish that his love wasn’t conditional.
based on hair color and hiding things.
words unspoke and...
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but he is tired
and something has changed. she can feel it on the wind and in his voice.
he is tired of her.
she has given up more than he knows for this.
and he is tired of her.
she is crying and she is guns pressed to heads and she is not on her time of her month she is just simply sad.
and she can’t help it. and she is sorry.
and he is tired.
////////////////
i’d like to end this post by...
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books without words
she is a sad book
and she is undertones and connotations
the small subtle hints you see behind eyes
she is lies and falsities and ommissions and fine print
she is tragic. she is happy. she is you.
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who are we to burn our bodies?
who are we to burn our bodies?
we spend out time saying “we need to live” and so preoccupied with living, we fail to do so
why waste your breath on telling me all about how i shouldn’t waste mine?
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most
she forgets that you don’t have to be the most to be worth something.
the most beautiful.
the most smart.
the most. the best. the top.
and when she makes a msitake, she feels that same old
lungs collapsing
rib cage crushed
stomach squeeze
failure feeling
so she ignores her wrongdoings and hopes they will
just
go
away
because she would be so much happier if she could just
art
...
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nothing is certain
“i will die before i am thirty”
by her twelfth birthday, of this, she is sure.
she isn’t equipped to live too long, here
“i will die before i am thirty”
on her sixteenth birthday, she reminds people and is met with laughter and reassurance. but her face is solemn.
“i will die before i am thirty”
at twenty three, she knows god, or whoever, or fate, or...
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In my experiences, caring has always gotten me...
brocrystalshere:
It’s much better and easier to just push my feelings aside and hope they disappear. As soon as I start caring the other person starts to leave.
Always.
And this is why you never let anyone in.
Never.
Because they will all hurt you.
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toyshop
and her policy is to cry as much as you want but never let anyone see it.
smearing on concealer mascara lipstick
disguise those eyes gone bloodshot and that face gone red
because they can’t know you’re weak and they can’t know you suffer and they can’t know because people don’t love broken toys
they get left in closets/underbeds/goodwill and reminsiced upon when...
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yesterday
she wants to love on speeding silent trains in dead midnight
and she wants to feel small and like she is in a movie or a book or just someplace where the things that hurt are beautiful
and god is he beautiful in the nightlamp glow
buckling his belt and smiling at her in that way and telling her “you are beautiful”
as she stands there somehow safe naked knowing that he somehow...
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drought
she is tall and you are gawky and all she wants (she says) is intelligent conversation but all she really wants (she thinks) is to be kissed hard up against lockers. to be wanted. you seem so old inside and so odd and you have secrets that she doesn’t know and she is in trouble in over her head because you will kiss her hard against lockers and won’t stop when she doesn’t like...
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alabaster
she is so afraid to need him.
that night he told her that he was so lonely for her he was fighting tears, he was losing sleep.
she was so afraid of needing him. of needing him and letting him know. and him running.
but when she replied, saying the same. saying she couldn’t be apart. he didn’t reply.
“serves me right for caring, for needing, for telling”
and she turned...