December 2009
1 tag
we were everything
they slip notes into pockets between classes and give secret smiles when they feel those thin pieces of paper sliding in.
as the months go on, they get creative. hearts, cranes, flowers, fortune tellers. as much a treasure as the words they hold within.
….
three months later, she is gone and he has almost forgotten.
three months later, she has ran, and she is pretending like he is almost...
November 2009
1 tag
i wish you were here
she bleeds in bathtubs and terrycloth towels and laughs in english class when they say white symbolises purity when in reality she only feels clean when she sees that red sinking sinking sinking out of her skin.
“i wish you were here”
he loves her so much. he counts the seconds until school just so he can see her again, and maybe make her smile. he felt so wonderful when she smiled....
1 tag
say anything
she wants poetry and flowers and sweet words and she doesn’t want to have to ask for it.
she wants lies.
he isn’t a writer and only likes the type of flour you find in bread and he never thinks to say sweet things unless he means them.
and even though this should be perfect it’s not.
because she thinks up all the ways that he is lying because he obviously can’t love...
1 tag
so many times
he stays outside at parties so he won’t flirt and make that same mistake that he has made
so
many
times
because she is worth it, this time.
and she wishes sometimes that he would just hurt her and get it over with because that’s what has happened
so
many
times
and she is no more worth it than she has ever been
but he loves her and misses her when she leaves the room and...
1 tag
cracked lips and park benches
you are sitting down on your favorite park bench.
you know, the old one. with the metalwork and the carvings and the initials and somehow the only one without profanity or badly done graffiti.
and suddenly, you notice something fresh. a heart with two sets of names and a “forever” and you laugh because the notion of that, the notion of being loved forever is just a fairy story to you...
1 tag
be my nothing
he is made of nothing
he is made of empty
he is made of holes
he is made of the spaces in elbows and underneath doors
she is rain boots
she is cat sounds
she is mardi gras beads
she is paint on windowsills that fade in the sunlight but dance in the rain
he is absolutely nothing and she is absolutely everything and together they can do everything and nothing together and change the world...
1 tag
"out of here"
she lives her life in the radio and wishing on the road “out of here”.
she is sick of small town mentality and big city gossip.
and all she wants is
“out of here”
and so she doesn’t see everything around her and misses the moments that could make her stay. because her skin itches and her feet need to run
“out of here”
so someday, she will be taking...
1 tag
boom
there is jupiter in her veins and mercury in her mouth
fire in her eyes and ice in her heart
and her body is made up of everything you’ve ever left unsaid
she is a catalyst
just looking for her
chemical reaction
1 tag
this goddamn town
she parties and makes lust (because it’s not really about love. that’s only in fairy stories. it’s just a nothing that leaves her feeling empty) and drinks and smokes in boxcars
because there is nothing
else
to
do
in
this
goddamn
town
unless you want to d i s a p p e a r
f
a
d
e
away
because of everything in these city limits the thing she is most afraid of...
1 tag
here?
she is in love. because someone finally sees what was there all along. and he is hers. she is small, and she is beautiful. and she has hurt people she is sad. because he was hers. and now he is gone. she is small, and she is beautiful. and she has hurt people. she is lonely. so she goes after things that aren’t hers, and let’s the things that are waste away. because she is lonely,...
1 tag
no one is looking
who are we to question why others think we are beautiful? how many times have you seen someone and wondered why you see what the others don’t? the way that when they smile just right the wrinkles seem to spell out your name the curve of a lip the swell and curve of a backbone the too much look they get sometimes, when they think no one’s looking how sad they seem to be when they...
1 tag
i am so sorry for the things i have done
they are that couple. the ones who never let their hands leave one another she is a little too insecure from a little too many instances of being made to feel that she is less than she is. he is a little too obnoxious from a few too many years of thinking “no one could ever love me” some think he’s right. most. with the exception of a few boys he doesn’t see as much as...
1 tag
he is impossible
He lies sick in a bed that seems to drown him. He seems so much smaller than he did before…maybe it was the bed, but that sick, sad, truthful part of her knew it was the cancer. She walks over to him, hesitently, knowing that the closer she gets, the paler he will look. The more obvious the death on his skin will be. One can already smell it- that clean, sterile smell that had taken over his...
1 tag
his eyes are lying
and he is impossible. and he is needy and he never lets her go and he pushes and he pushes and he pushes. and she resists and resists until her shoulders give out. but she stays with him and she loves him and she pretends she doesn’t notice when he notices other girls. and he needs her even though he will never admit it. and he can’t go a day without her even though he will never...
1 tag
candid camera
he could read the memories in her eyes when she told him goodnight and he could taste the words on the tip of her tongue when she left things unsaid. he knew of her doubts and her worries and her can’t-forgets and he knew of the change he went through. and he knew that she had no way of knowing about it. she loves the way it feels when he lift, lift, lifts her up and calls her beautiful...
1 tag
father time
january was an optimist in her own strange way. beneath her icy eyes she was bright and clean, and she promised new beginnings until he tired of beginnings and ended it for february was white lace and broken glass. she loved the lovers and was cruel to the lonely. her smile gave you promises, but her heart broke them so when he was just a broken promise he turned to march, a lush with too much...
1 tag
and you're waiting
he is made of rumors and pasts and lovers let down and he is made of too many chances until he got his last one. and he is made of missing the one girl he can’t ever get back. “smile at me”, he says, and she walks away. he is still waiting for his december girl. or at the very least, his february.
1 tag
five hours thirty two minutes thirty eight seconds...
five hours, thirty two minutes, and 38 seconds later, he is thinking about a night spent and the one he spent it with moonlight sidewalk kisses and sleepy arms entwined smiles down highways and heads against shoulders a curve of a lip and the sway of a hip and as he lies upon his bed he can’t help but feel as though something is missing. five hours, thirty two minutes, and 38 seconds...
1 tag
white dresses and limousines
“too short, too big, too much” she doubts not him but whether she’s deserving of love without fine print or hidden fees “not cool, not funny, not enough” he’s sad not only for himself and his mistakes but for her and how she thinks she doesn’t matter she thinks her doubts will make him let go. he thinks this is all. his. fault. she is wrong. he will...
1 tag
bikinis and broken ribs
she felt them stare. she was there, exposed in the sunlight. clad in nothing but a bikini and her bruises. arms, legs, back blue and black and green and this was such a bad idea he was thunder and lightning and hitpunchhit whenever she was less than sunny weather or good wife/mother/whoever else he wanted her to be but it isn’t always and she needs and she loves him and he...
1 tag
everyone tells her so
she is very pretty. beautiful, even. and everyone tells her so. she is brilliant and caring and has made so many people’s lives better just by knowing them. everyone tells her so she is too kind but she cares for those she loves (and she loves almost everyone) deeply and would die for them in two heartbeats. everyone tells her so she is just enough where she needs to be and a little...
1 tag
kiss me silver
she would kiss him silver beneath the moonlight and whisper in his ears words that no longer bore weight with her. because no one ever meant it. but they were heavy, heavy, heavy and he meant it. her kisses were silver sin and emerald sun and they turned his heart to ice and so he would stop believing. and he would forget everything because all he could hear were those three moonlight...
1 tag
give me everything
she always kisses him like she will never see him again it’s a clutching, wanting, needing, goodbye feeling she gives him all her hunger, all her sadness, all of the things she knows she’s been missing. all in one simple lip-lock. not knowing what she’s done, she breaks away and walks away. off to wherever she thinks she needs to be. leaving him standing there, arms gripping...
1 tag
pompeii
“lie to me, tell me life is beautiful” these are the words she whispers into the ears of those dusty attic walls everything was gone. everyone was gone, lost to flashes of light and collapsing roofs. and fire. so much fire. friends, schools, petty grievances and petty romances. all erased by layers of hot ash and the wrath of someone she supposed was god. sometimes, she would peek...
1 tag
unlikely
they are laying close, quiet morning-blue light peeks through curtains, but they have slept only two hours, spending the rest of the time with sweet kisses and sweet nothings. he is too-tall-too-skinny (but she likes the way his ribs shift beneath his skin) she is too-short-too-curvy (but he likes the way she is soft in his arms) and they are both so not-each-other they are unlikely and...
but never, ever invite monday to your birthday...
i figure i should start a proper blog instead of posting everything to my facebook all the time. this will have everything, even the things i hate too much to share.
i write only when i really should be doing something else.
like learning about cellular respiration, for instance. sorry, ms. sonneman.
